Two wise Finns about our security?

I remember a conversation in a café in Helsinki about 15 years ago. We were three men, the philosopher Georg Henrik von Wright, the veteran politician, former minister Jan Magnus Jansson and me. We talked about security, and reached the conclusion that both for Finland and Estonia the best, in fact, the only guarantee of security are normal relations with Russia. I still think this conclusion is valid today too, although I am not sure if we Estonians are able to establish such normal relations or have we become prisoners of our own politico-historical rhetoric. It is hard to believe that Russia is really interested in a permanent mini cold war in the proximity of its second largest city St.Petersburg. I wonder whether Moscow could accept the fact that it is perceived as a threat by Estonia, if it can be sure there is no threat to its vital Northwest region emanating from Estonia. Are these two fears, two views irreconcilable or not? This is the question.