Getting rid of myself

In childhood, we learn to accept and assume all kinds of roles, becoming members of a family and various other groups, of the society as a whole. I feel that, growing old, it's time to step out of those roles, to become more conscient of the fact that we are not identical to the sum of our roles and images. We are something different. Je suis un autre. The discovery of this otherness, this altérité is interesting, can give you some inspiration and consolation.

For me, it is also coming back to some childhood experiences: when I was four years old, I once thought that there is something strange in my being Jaan Kaplinski, and even in my being myself. Now I understand that, after all, I am neither Jaan nor Kaplinski, and I am not I either. I am something different, I am something else. And this understanding gives to this irreal me a feeling of deep satisfaction. My existence is deeply paradoxical, but it's possible to accept it and be happy with it.